44 ODD THINGS

yeah im meant to be doing work.

1. Do you like blue cheese? i haven't tried.

2. Have you ever smoked? nope.

3. Do you own a gun? the squirty ones? yup :)

4. What is your favourite cordial flavour? GREEEEEN :)

5. Do you get nervous before Doctor appointments? nope, i barely get the,.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? omg i can't eat one anymore i ate too much today.

7. Favourite Christmas movie? HOW THE GRINGE STOLE CHRISTMAS. omg good times :)

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee :)

9. Do you do push-ups? yup :)

10.What’s you favourite piece of jewellery? my spike studs given by Xin :)

11. Favourite hobby? diying/sewing/making useless crap ahahs.

12. Do you have A.D.D? yes. i hate people who don't zip their bags full on. and then you see everything jiggle out and it's so annoying.

13. What’s the one thing you hate about yourself? i can't decide with things and stick to it.

14. Middle name? Thu. It means autumn in Viet. ahahas suave right?

15.Name three thoughts at this exact moment? full, i need to study, my cup is a table away but i don't want to leave my warm spot to get it.

16.Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Water, Coffee, Water

17. Current worry? I wouldn't finish my formal dress in time because im slacking in textiles.

18. Current hate right now? tina's messiness.

19. Favourite place to be? on the train by myself, after everyone's gone, listening to jazz and soulful crap. ahahahas SO SUAVE ANN SO SUAVE.

20.How do you ring in the new year? ring? huddle around with the family, make promises that we'd go watch the fireworks but end up watching it at home, getting text messages from my friends :)

21.Where would you like to go? France/Japan/Thailand/Hawaii

23.Do you own slippers? yup

24. What colour shirt are you wearing right now? pink

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? nope, im not hugh hefner.

26. Can you whistle? nope. sucks.

27. Favourite Colour? turquoise/purple

28. Would you be a pirate? yeeeerh.

29.What songs do you sing in the shower? songs i make up about singing in the shower.

30.Favouite girls name? ive really wanted to be named Alaska at one point.

31.Favourite boys name? Bartholomew. Laugh or you want but im naming my kiddy that.

32.What’s in your pocket right now? Baby Lips Protecting Berry from Maybelline New York

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Gabe <3

34. Best bed sheets as a child? pictures of two dancing rats. ive never had boastable sheets.

35.Worst injury you have ever had? i tried in front of my crush on a rainy day while on a balance beam and bumped my head into it and now there's a huge scar.

36. Do you love where you live? yes. its the best place available.

37. How many TV’s do you have in your house? 3

38. Who is your loudest friend?i think im probably the loudest in my group. but, not counting me..would be..everyone ahahahs.

39. How many dogs do you have? none. cause im saving for a duck.

40. Does someone have a crush on you? ahahahs yes <3 he's so cute it's so cute.

41.What book are you reading at the moment? i don't read books.

42.What’s your favourite candy? sour worms :D

43.What’s your favourite sports team? SYDNEY SWANS. IM NOT SHAMEFUL I LIKE AFL.

44.What song do you want played at your funeral? not going to die. mafia wives never die aahahahas.

hey, back to the beginning of time

no, nothing nor noone to find

we follow the moonlight, chase after the sun

searching for some piece of mind

searching for the silver line. 

Stop, turn, look & see, 

Pause, breath, run & dream

Stay strong, live & breath

Move love across seas.

July 9th

So pumped ehehehes.

5 Qualities Of My Ideal Guy

I got this off a friends blog :) 
ahahas i used to have this huge list of what i want my guy to be and there were so many points there, it was impossible for a guy to have all of that. like, to be eurasian, to have mohawk hair that's not that mohawk but perfectly mohawk, to be hot but not cocky. ahahahs. i guess ive grown more mature when thinking of this topic nowadays and try to narrow down to something less picky and shallow, ahahas.
Not in order of importance.

1. Tall
I don't really know why i've wanted this since i was young. I've always had this stupid belief that my husband has to be taller than me because, on our wedding cake, his groom figurine has to be taller than my figurine and that wouldn't happen if he was taller. ahahahs seriously, that was what i was thinking. 


when i look at other guys and pick out who is cute, i would usually pick the tall ones. Like the ones that are 1 or more heads taller than me. I guess there's this feeling that..they protect you better? ahahas i don't know. ahahahs ive been having endless conversations with brian about this when we'd measure our height and i'd be like 'omg you're so short your future wifey would be devastated" even though he's a head taller than me. yeah, i guess im kind of picky. But honestly, all the guys i've majorly had a crush on, including this one, is short - ahahas im sorry bubby, im teasing you again.i should stop being too picky.


2. Musically Talented
Most of the time, when i start conversations with guys, one of the first questions i ask them is if they play an instrument or not. ahahas me and my friends used to have this discussion where we talk about how we want our guy to propose to us, or how a guy would ask us out. 

me, probably being the cheesiest out of all my friends, imagined this park scene where my guy friend/bf brings out a guitar and serenades to me on the park bench and then give me a rose and ask me out. omg ahahahahs so cringeworthy but yeah, that's what i wanted.  but yeah, i really want a guy who could sing since im really attracted to musicians. i guess we could duet together and he could play the guitar while i play the ukulele? ahahahahas wishful thinking. 

3. Be funny and easy to talk to
 Iunno, most guys i know now are the type where you try to talk them up and you have to start conversations with.i'd like a guy who could get a conversation going by not giving one word responses and "ahahahs lol." 
someone who could make fun of himself and just be super dorky if that's how he could make people around him be happy and laugh. i find the cutest guys are the ones that joke around and initiate conversations with a girl while making her also feel comfortable.


4. BE HIMSELF AND BE HONEST
i used to like those cool looking guys and their 'i know im hot' smirks but iunno, ive been thinking about it again and i think it could be pretty fake. tbh they are hot but i like how a guy who doesnt care about his hair, his clothes and his coolness. i mean, i like guys who could dress super well and stylish and who has really pretty hair and who could not smile but look sexy in all angles but..iunno is that really him? at least, underneath all that prettyness, they should just act like themselves instead of pleasing other people by acting cool. 

I'd like a guy who could just be himself. like if he's dorky, be dorky. if he likes anime/gaming...don't hide it. and if he has things he needs to say; bitchrants and all, he could come to me and say it. i wouldn't like it if he changes to please me/to make me think he's cool. 

5. Who doesn't mind my personally. 

ahahahs yeah. i want a guy that, whenever i feel like ranting, he'd be there for me and feel like chucking shit at that bitch as well. that whenever i feel like being crazy and derpy, he'd laugh at me and be crazy and derpy as well. and when im happy, he'd go and throw confetti around ahahahahs. no not really, but something along those lines. a guy who'd i'd feel comfortable around but feels comfortable around with me. 

he doesn't need to be cute/hot - but it'll be a plus- and he doesnt need to have the perfect eyes, the perfect face shape. he doesnt need to have rock hard abs and bajillion monies where he could take me shopping and make me feel like a princess. 
he just needs to be there for me. iunno, i think it might be hard to find a guy who'd be like that since every guy i know nowadays are so concentrated on looking cool and being attractive, but i think they'll be a guy there that, under all those glitz, would be that ideal. cause i think all those pointers - maybe not counting the height- is what i define as attractive. 

so cheesy ahahahs. 
im outtie :)




 

Thanks, Wise App

im so devastasted

OMFG IM SO STUPID WHYWHYWHY DIDNT I BUY THE GABE BONDOC ALBUM HUHUHUHUHUH?
like when it first come out and when after 2 or 3 previews? 
NO THE STUPID KLUTZ I AM DECIDED TO LEAVE IT UNTIL IM SURE ITS WORTH IT. AND I ALREADY KNOW ITS GOING TO BE ACCEPT IM JUST ALL BREEZY MCPHEEZY AND GOING THAT I COULD GET IT ON ANOTHER DAY BECAUSE SURELY IT CAN'T BE SOLD OUT.

AND NOW WHEN IM LIKE OMFG I HAVE TO BUY IT BECAUSE THE MOST RECENT PREVIEW IS HECK OF A HEAVEN, IT'S SOLD OUT. 

SD.KFJSKDJFKSDJFLKSJDKLFJSDF

WHY GABE WHY. 
The only option left is if i buy the cd and the shirt and thats makes it fcking 48 dollars. okay so when i read it and it was like 37 i was like, meh meh, i'll beg my dad to buy me it and i'll pay him back in cash. but the shipping is 15 :( and it sucks cause the shipping for the album is just $2. 
-another reason why australia sucks- and i don't have that sort of money to buy a cd and a tshirt that i don't really want


WHYWHYWHWYWHWYWHYWHW is it not my birthday right now or something i want it so much :( and i know it won't end up like the aj rafael album that the others got me because im more into acoustically serene bondoc style more that rock rafael style. AND IT'LL BE SIGNED. SIGNED. BONDOC IS GOING TO WAVE HIS HAND ON IT OR MAYBE KISS IT WITH HIS LOVELY SMILE FCK.

no scrap that, i honestly honestly need it. i don't want the shirt i just want a signed LP. :(:( pleasepleaseplease any rich person that happen to just surf pass this post and feel like doing a good deed, YOU'RE TOTALLY WELCOME TO HELP ME.

omg im so devastated.  i really want this album and i dont just want to download it after it gets released because then it's not beautiful anymore. i don't know, im so sad omg im going to cry.  i couldve got it, one copy couldve been mine, but i just kept leaving it there and now they're all taken.

i miss you so bloody much.

Getting ready to flop the truong exit exam

ahahas yeah, no sweat..

DIYDIYDIY- Detached Collar

ahahas yeah,
Yesterday i tried out making my own detached collar cause im thinking of not getting those chokers and instead making my own accessories and it turned out very well :)

There were tons of blogs that tell you how to make these collars but most of them require a used blouse and i dont have a black one so i thought to freestyle it.

The pattern i used was from the school blouse's collar. so i got the measurements and drew one at via butcher paper, included interfacing in the middle and followed the stitchings made in the usual collar.

Bottomhole stitching was alright for there was a autobutton-hole stitch on the sewing machines.

And the jewels were bought on ebay on a pretty expensive budget but it turned out very worthit :)

Keep an eye out for it in the Term 3 Open Night Fashion Parade :)

MAYHEM 20/06/12

Ahahas today was really fun :)

So firstly i went early to study gor truong cause its such an ass.

We had maths where me and jasmine did some random stuff ahahas and made a decision using raffle ahahas.

FORFRENCH WE HAD FRENCH BREAKFAST! Ahahahs it actually wasnt that good, i got pain au chocolat and un croissant aux amandes. And theres barely any chocolat in the pain! I havent had pain aux amandes yet, but i heard its pretty noice. 

anywaay. after recess we went to Sydney Institute of Design at Enmore to go watch the fashion show. Honestly i didnt think much of it at first cause i thought it would be a normal room where people walk up and down; nothing fancy. But then when we came there, it was so professional. It looked very high budget; the outside of the place where projects made by the art students from the centre. They made all these pretty comics to do with REVOLUTION, as it was the theme of Mayhem. We came pretty early so we had to wait an hour until we got to go in. Ms wanted us to sit at the far seats so we could see everything but i really wanted to sit close to the catwalk so it was a good thing when we got front-row side seats. I mean you wont see them pose at the end but you get to see all the intricate details of the costumes. 

So first up were the advanced students, who did a Russian Revolution themed costume set and they were sooo pretty. It was all faux fur and huge hats and brown and red colour scheme which looked really good. There were also many pretty girls and all the details were really pretty. 

Then it was the American Revolution or something like that. Following was the Chinese Revolution, Cuban Revolution, some other one i forgot, followed by the British Revolution. These three theme costume sets were designed by first year but they were soososososo beautiful. I think the most outstanding one would probs be the Industrial Revolution. These were made by the advanced years where they made costumes that looksed like clockworks and metals and it was so beautiful and intricate and whacky but also sososoos cool. 

Following that were the aliens part and i thought that was pretty smart. They had to incorporate lights in their designs and many of them were so mindblowing. 

We got out at 2 and came back to Central. Me and Kim and Xin spread out from the rest to go POOOOLLLIINNG. ahahahas yeah. We went to some asian place near Chinatown which was filled with fobs and we paid for half an hour. And that was when i learnt that i naturally suck at it. ahahahs. omg they spent 30mins teacher me and at the end of the time i couldnt even break the triangle cause i couldn't hit it straight. so shitty that whenver xin and kim would hit the ball whacky they'd call it the ANN CURSE. ahahahs. and all the people around us were judging about how slow we could play.

anyhoos finished at 4.30 and came back to central at 5 to buy sundaes at Hungry Jacks and came home. and then studied. ahahahs

OKAY. IM.OUT

its stupid. I don't know why im doing this. I tell myself countless times that i should end it but i end up continueing this. I tell myself its not useful and its getting in the way of everything i do and i should pick up the courage to stop but everytime i end up not being able to stop.

Sometimes i wish my thoughts were mutual- for i'd rather it stop before i confront it- But everytime it starts i know that my feelings aren't mutual. And then im afraid to see the other become hurt if i confront the problem. And then i tell myself to leave it for a better day, and when that day comes i keep postponing it until it becomes a commitment that i dread.

Its not that i hate it. Sometimes im happy but other times i just feel like there are other things i should be doing. I've let myself go loose too many times this year and i tell myself that i have to try harder because of all the expectations put on me. And i know this problem is the first thing i need to get rid of to get everyhing back on track.

But i just can't do it. And for once i can't ask someone to help me/end it for me. This sucks.

Shitty feeling right now

\ ive got an exit exam from my lovely tutor place next monday. Its like a exam to grade us into classes for year 11 and so many people actually get expelled from that place last year cause they didnt meet the criteria.

The topics they give you were meant to be basic year nine work but half of these i havent even heard of/done until a week ago. Variations, exponential functions, logs, circle geo.

\ work experience is due next week. My place hasnt contacted me and iam really pissed off and thinking in enrolling for childcare butwhat if they reply and repy to my bajillion messages? Omgah and im too busy studying to do shit concerned with this rn.

\ I WANT TO DEACTIVATE FB BUT I JUST CANT CAUSE OF THAT ONE PERSON ARGH.

\ me and xin and kim are going to hang out tomorrow after thefashion parade and i realy want to go but my conscience tells me im lagging behind my study schedule. But i cant ditch xin ive ditched her too many times already, and i realy wanna play pool.

\ i just am just really pissed with many people right now. Ughhhs.

Two-faced Bitch dedication.

Be grateful for what you have. One day when shes not there for you anymore, i bet you wont even be bawling your eyes for her.
Because you're just that self-centered who doesnt give a crap about the family members who care for you but only the outsider friends who you're desperately trying to please.

Fcking don't give a friggin word of thanks to granny for helping you through that horrific cake baking of yours and in the end screaming at her and mum and me for being such a nuisance and giving you a headache? Who's the one thats complaining for help before cause they couldnt even bake a already made cake mixture?

Then you left granny to clean up your dirty work while you go chat to michael? Disgusting. I can't believe you're that sorta of a bitch.
Hope he figures out who you are for good. Oh no but wait, you're just going to put on that innocent caring sister act and get all your friends to sympathise with you.

And you wonder why i think you're a bad sister. The way you treated the closest people around you, whose relation to you would last longer than your friends is so mean. I can't believe grandma still stays on your side because i'd throw you out if i was her. And while im raging, go chat to michael. Boast about the pretty cale ypu made with YOUR OWN hands and show him the picture you took after dumping shit off the table that was mine and losing my sd card. And yhen forget about how grandma literally made the whole thing an found all thsse stuff for you cause shes that lovely and how you screamed at her and made her all upset.

And then make a skit of how tired you are and how muh effort you put it and your tired moans. And then say ' oh michael i dont get why she hates me ' blahblah an michael would be like ' oh baby whatever you say is right you poor thing lemme talk to ann and straighten stuff out with her cause shes totes wrong and you're the only one suffering'

UGH. IDIOT. IDIOT IDIOT IF ONY ICOULD RECORD EVERYHING AND SHOW YOU THE REAL HER.

IF ONLY I COULD JUST SMACK HER AND R LIKE BITCH STOP HURTING OUR FAMILY AND TREATING YOUR FRIENDS LIKE PRECIOUS GOLD OR GTFO.

But in the end your frieds and the prople around us would just sympathise you, while you go around all nice and making everyone slave around you.

Cause everything centres around you, Tina, am i right?

DAY#16. SOMEONE THAT’S NOT IN YOUR STATE/COUNTRY

uhm, 

i used to know this person through tumblr. ahahas we first bonded over migoreng and our mutual dislike for Masterchef Junior and he's very funny. He was from Brisbane, half thai half aussie..? ahahas i have no idea he keeps boasting about how multilingual he is. 
but yeah, he is so super stylish and it discourages me alot because i used to be so fob/wannabe gangster with the flatcaps and all ahahas. 


he is super nice super funny and we are pretty lame put together. like we made up this 'inspiration' wall one day after we were ranting about how shit our school marks is and we're like: yeah stick all these pretty things on our wall and that would totally help our marks. so we actually did that and sent a picture to each other ahahas. 


yeah, he used to rant about his boycrushes and we'd have a bond over our similar ideal guy ahahahs. oh the times. 


afterwards though, i started to not go onto tumblr often cause ive started to get super busy and super bored and my internet lags so bad that when i load more posts it goes beserk. so then we stopped talking for a while. 


when i came back though, we had misunderstandings. he thought i was the anon that sent all these insulting/stalker messages about is sexuality because i havent been on as myself and he's been having daily anon posts. so yeah, we kinda drifted apart through that. and just now i tried to find his tumblr back again but i think he mustve deleted it. 


yeaaah. i.am.out :)

MY JAM: WHATEVER NUMBER

so i had a huge appreciation post for GABE BONDOC on my previous post and so i think he should own his own little one ahahahs. 

So Gabe Bondoc is this lovely guy from Hawaii who's good at playing the ukulele- he also has his own cute pronounciation of it- the guitar, and he could also write and mashup loads of good acoustic covers. i used to be a really big fan and then had this phase when i didn't listen to him much but im getting back there :)

So many people tuned into his new more-mainstream covers like Boyfriend, Sure Thing, Thinkin' About You but i think he's old covers/songs are also soooo good so if you guys want to check him out then you should also check out his old ones. ahahs when he used to have shaggy messy hair but still that cute smile :)

okay so one of his old songs is my favourite. i learnt this off by heart on the ukulele cause it's so cuute and so good ahahas. 

Gentleman Don't- Gabe Bondoc. Okay so he wrote this by himself and it's so beautiful. EVEN AJ DID A COVER OF IT :))
 There's also 'You're It' that he wrote and it's so good as well :) omgomogmomog i totally forgot :"When You Say (Nine)" is also really good. he has this cute thing that when he counts himself in he goes "1.2.7.9" and it's so cute ahahas. okay im sorry, back on track.


He also did this outstanding mashup of songs:

Music Promo #2- so talented :) he did so many more awesome covers.


okay so, forwarding to his newer covers, i got so mesmerized with his Sure Thing cover by Miguel and Bieber's Boyfriend. Yeah, he makes it sound so much better. 

Sure Thing- Miguel (Cover) 
uhmuhmuhm so there's also his Drake cover which he put his own spin into it and it's magicaaall. 

Houstatlantavagas- Drake (Cover)
BUT ABOUT HIS NEW ALBUM! IT'S SO ACOUSTICALLY GOOD I WANT TO CRY. because he's heavenly on the guitar and his voice is really good. he's really pure about his love in music and iunno how, but i feel like i could feel that love as well. ahahahs omg im so cheesy. but yeah, this is his first preview that got me squealing:

 Timing LP- First Choice


and if you guys aren't hooked yet, here's one of the songs on the album!! yeeeeks i just found it just then sldkkjfjslkjdfklsjdlkfd

Tables- Gabe Bondoc

So yeah, they're allll magical. you guys should check him out whenever you can :)
I.AM.OUT :)

decisions decisions

I sound like a spoilt brat but.
i have a big dilemma right now. 
so i got $17 spare bucks on my vcard and i don't know how to spend it:
1. so gabe bondoc, this lovely acoustic youtube singer has a new album coming up and i sosososos want it and its really funny because i only knew about his new beautiful album 3 days ago. But anyway preorders are $12 plus it's signed so im like YAAAAY i will get one. but the thing is shipping is 5$ so i've got no extra money afters.
but then theres:
2. cheap accessories on ebay- 
okay so i need accessories for the fashion parade. yeah im already thinking about that. and so i need a gold choker/gold cuff and stuff. 
so i went onto ebay and did some snooping and i found all these lovely stuff that i'll need and they're so cheeeap! like the gold chokers you'd buy at shops are $20 plus and i just don't have that sorta budget with me. and i also need to buy other stuff for the formal and just normal rad accessories- not that i'll wear them out on a normal day though.

nts: my friend told me that sportgirl buys their shit at a chinese ebay shop kinda place. and today i went into dotti and saw these deer-print tights for $20, and just yesterday on my favourite ebay shop, i saw them for $5. the fabric is pretty shitty, the one at dotti. ahahas and then portman has the same shirt as dotti. ahahahs iunno, you guys can believe or not believe, but most stuff are such ripoffs. at least buy them cheap at australian sites like the iconic or international hotspots like dotti and such. but yeah, believe or don't believe, your choice - please don't trample on me sportgirl lovers. 

so yeah. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SHOULD GET. THE ACCESSORIES THAT I'LL NEED AT SOONER OR LATER OR THE LOVEEELLLY. IM SO SERIOUS ABOUT THIS. LOVEEELLLYYY ALBUM. yeah iunno, i don't want to just download all the songs because all the previews til now are so good and i want to support him because he's amazing.
 but iunno when i'll get the chance to get these accessories that i'll need. like im going to put it off and forget about it and when the day comes for the fashion parade i wont have enough time to buy it because it takes 30 days to ship because it's from china ahahahas. 

help please :) im outtie :)

omfg i hate tutoring. with a burning passion. 

it's so fcking stressing; there's like a bajillion homework each week and exams every single month. and now we got this year 11 entrance exam that i got pushed to two weeks later and i don't even know half what is on it. 

like they said there's logorithms and exponential functions and shit and you're meant to learn that in year 9. are you serious with me? i didn't even know those things existed in year 9. and now im doing serious catchup and hating this whole thing. 

ahahahs don't be surprise if im the one out of 50 kids who get expelled. 

DAY 15# SOMEONE YOU MISS

ahahahs a 'many people' post again. 

but i really miss my family in vietnam, especially my cousins. 

when i went to vietnam at the end of year 7 i kinda had this feeling that i wouldn't fit in with my cousins since we only met each other when we were 5. and so i always had this image that me and tina would be the albinos in vietnam and just walk around with my mum and my aunts. 

the first place we hung out was dad's side of the family, which was in the middle of vietnam. There was an abundance of cousins and they were all around me and tina's age, plus some older cousins around 20-24 years old. Yeah the first days were awkward because we stayed at their house and we'd encounter them all the time but we didn't know what to say. 

And since im a really inclusive people and i usually wait for people to talk to me, i was really grateful how the older cousins tried to include us in stuff. They'd take the whole bunch of us to places at night to hang out; icecreameries and pretty cool teenage hang out spots. I think we all bonded and get more comfortable with each other when we had a karaoke night and everyone became closer. 

And then wherever we went, the whole bunch of us would go together and it felt so nice because i never had that kind of feeling with my cousins in Australia. My cousins here are 30 year olds, all married, all small kids. I either have to sit quietly and listen to the oldies talk about their jobs and their travelling or babysit the little kids. and since i really didn't have much to talk about to my older cousins, i find the babysitting for comfortable. 

But yeah, it honestly felt so good when i was in vietnam. we spoke to each other so informally and they'd buy us stuff and take us to the street venders to get all these good street food that was so cheap. and we'd stay at home playing cards, go karaoke, and just sleep together in those mosquito net thingos. 

leaving vietnam was the suckiest feeling yet because i knew it would be forever until i get to hang out with them again. and yeah, there's skype and fb and all but it's not the same. it's only been 2 years and i barely talk to them. but it really sucks and i really do miss them all. 

i have this really bad habit

that i always ALWAYS jump to conclusions. 


the smallest gesture and phrase that someone says to me, i immediately interpret it and think badly. 


like if someone gives me and glare or just a pissed off look if we past in the corridors, i would think she's pissed at me and wonder what the heck i did. 


or even if someone's acting cold  to me or distant one random day, i'd think that she's pissed as well. 


for instance, there's this friend that i talk to a lot - daily- and they just didn't happen to be on for a while and i freak out and get spastic whether or not i said something insulting to them.


iunno why i feel so insecure but i never acted like this until recently. ahahahs change ann change. sdkfkskdfjksdjlksdf.

DAY#14. SOMEONE YOU’VE DRIFTED AWAY FROM

HEEEEY :)

ahahahs you're very funny and very crazy and i love you sososo much.
we met each other in year 4, 0C orientation, and i was so annoyed at you cause you kept kicking my chair and looking really pissed off and antisocial.
ahahas but obviously you're so different. You and Mel used to be tied to the hips and since i hung out with sharon and the others, we were only classmates and sometimes you'd hang out with our group. But then like, in year 6, issues being my group - ahahas yeah there was drama in year 6- let me hang out with you and mel and the funny bunch and you guys were so funny. and then i figured out that we lived close by and i used to go to your house so many times, it was so funny. 

I think we were really close because we were both loud and crazy in our class. You were really good at drawing and i remember that dr seuss book that we made with melissa and everyone liked that a lot. yeah, you were one of my closest biffles.


In year 7, though, we drifted because we started to hang out with different people. Obviously i was kind of pissed at you when you went to hang out with others because we used to be so close and i thought that, wherever you go, i'd go with. But, you know, everyone changes and it's okay, it just took me some time to figure that out myself.


Now, though we've drifted, i still think you're one of my good friends. We'd have whacky convos whenever we meet and make pedo faces at each other cause we're cool like that ahahahas. i love you lots and hope we could have a real catch up session together one day :)

 

DAY#13. SOMEONE YOU WISH COULD FORGIVE YOU

Hi.

What started off as a really close bond that kind of fell apart for us. You're a really nice person; caring and sweet, and i am really sorry for the countless times i lied to you. 

ahahahas yeah, remember those times when we had those longwinding talks about your life and about how my future life would be? and how i kept nagging you to go to sleep and actually try out for all these jobs? 

and then yeah, that thing happened. I honestly didn't mean it. I never wanted to get skype and never thought of it but it was an impulse thing and you happened to not be on at that time for me to tell you. and then you got very hurt and it took me a while for you to get back on track again.

and then i lied to you. the promise that i gave you, i never did and i know that hurted you a lot. i know you couldn't forgive me and, all because of me, your overview on who your real friends are have changed dramatically. 

tbh i did try to mend us back together. all that time that i tried to apologise, tried to reason out with you. you know how many times i tried. and i know that's not enough in comparison to what i did to you but you never gave me a fair chance. 

you were the one who, when i tried to apologise on the first go, ignored me and deleted my comments and never listened. and then you'd bring what i said up? all the times i posted something on your page or talked to you to try and closen up that gap, you'd delete. even before all that crap happened; every single time i tell you to do something as a healthy advice, you'd never listen to me. so what am i to you anyway?

when you finally forgave me, every single time we talked you'd bring the whole event up again. saying that i hurt you, saying that you're still very hurt. i thought you said you wanted to forget everything. 

and thats when i got annoyed. you're too nice but sometimes you don't think for anyone else but yourself and who you feel. i tried so hard yet you never recognised that and you keep whining that you're depressed and that you're sick of being happy and whenever i tried to help you out nicely you'd ignore whatever i said. you never were like that. 

i think, by now, you're still hurt. whatever i did had made an everlasting impression on you and i know you can't trust me again. but yeah, i do wish you could forgive me, but we can't go back to what we were back then.

Day 11#the person that caused you a lot of pain

Uhm, probably one of my closest friends. She probably knows who she is.

I guess we began on a roughpatch to start with. We we're compatible, yet all sorts of drama happen between each other and other people that we always end up hurting each other.

Tbh the beginning of year 8, i was very reluctant to have her in my class again. After all that happened in year 7 i wasnt sure how we'd get along. And though we told each other we'd get past it and forget it of course it can't be all forgotten. We definitely had some highlight moments. We bonded so well and people around us would comment on how tight we were, ad we honestly was. I'd tell her all the problems i had with my group, since i had some problems in year 8, and she'd help me and comfort me with er words, which was very comforting for a kid like me.

Then the rough patches came again.

There were misunderstandings, and she said she said, and other people got involve in spreading stuff and contributing their shit that we started to misunderstand each other and hurt each other. We had one big fight though, through misunderstandings via some other friends' problems that caused distrust amongst us. It was huge. But weirdly, after we talked, we got passed it and that bonded us together. I think that was when i realise how much she means towards me.

Year 9 though was a huge step for our relationship. Obviously there was drama here and there between other people around us which caused our relationship to go a bit awkward because we were siding on opposite sides. But when she herself went into her own personal problems, tbh that caused me a lot of pain as well. I always thought of her as a strong witted person but to see her go through that, through what she told me, made me feel so hurt for her. And to see that she wouldnt listen to me and wouldnt accept my help, all these bad thoguhts came into my head about what she might do and i was really distressed.

But then, it also showed how mch she trusted me. Afterwards we have this special bond. Obviously we arent close like year 8 because we were hangin one on one, but she'd always call me when she needs help and treats me like she cares. And though we get on each others nerves, i knownshe loces and cares for me a lot, and i love her a lot as well.

Through all we've been through, she is probably the person who caused me to cry feel painful a lot but also the person who taught me to be strong and be independent and be myself. And for that im really grateful :)

people change

it's funny how the reason you tell me the one thing you wouldn't do was the thing you did to end everything. 


i guess it's for the better though. we never were anyway.

So i had this very weird dream which i only remembered a bit of. And i was at central after school and it was raining and i was walking through all crowds to catch my train. And i was with one of my friends who i can't quite remember.

And then i saw Richard. He was just walking with his friends and i ignored him and kept speedwalking to catch my train. But then he caught up to me and was like:"hey we haven't talked in a long time" and then we smiled and. talked and i forgot the rest.

But iunno. This morning i woke up and it was the only part of my long dream that i could remember. And when i think about it again we havent talked in ages. i've seen him around at my platform and he's grown alot taller now and its funny how we use to be two squabbling desk buddies in primary school.

Iunno, i think i should pick up the courage and talk to him again.

Uhm yeah so.
What is wrong with you these days? You act so different compared to how you usually do and its pissing me off.
Get you act back together.

DAY#10. SOMEONE YOU DON’T TALK TO AS MUCH AS YOU’D LIKE TO

this girl in my grade. 

ahahahahas she'll probably see this so i will keep her name hidden. 
she's in my textiles class and i think she's very cool. 
she's really funny and different to other people in her group.
i knew her in year 7 when she was in the same peer group as me but we didnt know each other much. 
but then this year, one day, she happened to go on the same train as me and i realised how much we are alike each other. we're both whacky, both weird, and all the things i don't show towards other people im close to, i showed her in a day. ahahahas and she was the same as well. 
yesterday at Vanessa's 16th i saw her and so much of me wish i was closer to her.
SO yeah. i would really like to talk to her and crack up abnormally again. And then for someone else's party, if both me and her are invited, i hope whack dance with her as well. 


IM OUTTIE.

 

DAY #9: Someone you wish you could meet.

TWO PEOPLE. 

Kyle Hanagami. 

Kyle Hanagami is, in my eyes, one of the most inspiring people ever. 
I know that i'm not a dancer and all i could do is bop around and jump up and down when there's music; but Kyle is one of the best dancers yet.

I know people don't know him a lot; he's not hot like Brian Puspos, does not have swag like Ian Eastwood, but he puts so much heart in everything he does. And im not saying all the other dancers don't. But his choreographies are so intricate, so soulful, so emotional that i feel as if i'm feeling what he's feeling. 

He doesn't think that his topshit, he doesn't act like one as well. He doesn't do all hiphop, but more interpretated style dancing. But whenever he dances he is so graceful. He's very shy but when he dances, he smiles and i just feel at awe. 

It feels so good that I'm about to look at his journey in become a professional dancer and choreographer and, to see him be able to teach people, I feel so inspired.

If i was able to meet him, i'd thank him for existing.

you if guys would like to see how good he is:

 

FRANK OCEAN.

ahahaahs i think by now everyone must know how much i love frank ocean. his music is soulful and it touches me and, though there's some adultery stuff in his work, i don't see whats wrong about it. swim good, bricks and steel, acura intergurl, denim, if i'm in love, bedtime story...i could go on forever. in fact i love all 63 tracks of his The Lonny Breaux Collection. 

I'd like to be able to go to one of his concerts when i'm older. just to see him in real life and show him my support in his music. 

check out his mixtape here: http://www.hotnewhiphop.com/frank-ocean-the-lonny-breaux-collection-mixtape.11921.html

Day #8: My favourite internet friend

SAAAAAAAAAMMMM :)

You're so hip girl! We've met each other in year 4 cause your mum worked with my gran at the cheesecake factory, and i think you're so awesome.

We don't get to hang out often because we live so far away so the only times we get to catch up is on the holidays or.. ONLINE.

Ahahhas girl you're so witty and cool,, and you never change that and thas what i like about you. You stay true to who you are and your passions, and you're so nice to the people around you.

And you showed me so many things as well! All cause of you i got hooked on cool tv shows, movies and youre the one that made me want to go get a uke.

Its fun being your sis and getting to be in your life. Omgomgomg remember that james guy on tumblr? Bahahahas those were the days.

I dont go on msn much anymore so you talk to tina much more than me, but when we meetup we have ao many fun memories together; watching those Fatality clips, and all these funny youtube clips , and then cranky out to daft punk and clazziquai, you're the sis im glad to have.

All i want to say is stay true to your heart. You have such a wonderful talent of drawing and painting, don't let the people aroud you get in your way. And, unlike me, don't change yourself to please other people. Who the fuck cares what the people around tou should think, you're already so cool for standing up to what you believe in.

Love you baby :)

Day #7: A stranger

Hi.
I think you're cute.
You come at the same time my group comes and stand at the bus stop and i find that you're different to other guys.
Though my friends think you're ugly -cause they're quite shallow- i like someone who's cleancut and just normal looking. You have no spiked up hair and your civi clothese aren't the best but that's what makes you stand out from all the rest; not the otherswho think theyre hottotrot so they accesories and shit.
And you're not dependent to your friends as well, which i think i kind of cool, how you just go to school by yourself most of the time while other guys socialise and hang in groups.

So i applaud you for your courage :) i think you're a pretty nice guy.

DAY #6 My Dreams

Hey dreams,
I don't remember you.

pros and cons of textiles

okay so, we have to choose our subjects by the end of this term. and im kinda iffy about textiles.

but i honestly don't know if i should choose textiles or not. I like it, it's one of my many passions but i never get praised about it. and it's not like i feed on compliments and shit but i want to know that im doing well. and i don't know anymore. we talked about all the textiles continuers and they're such competition. and then there's ann. Honestly i love her because she's a nice person but the way everyone treats her designs are so overated. it is lovely, but then everyone just goes 'woooow ann. woooooow it's so good. you should be a designer. blahblahblah' and it just makes me lose so much confidence. iunno why. i just lose hope that i would do well in there. 

i mean, someone could have goooood ideas but, if they can't draw freehand like her, would they be considered worst than her? 

iunno. i just lose so much confidence in my passion. i mean, for my costume, the only compliment that made me ohsohappy was karu who said that she liked the concept and thought that i put effort in it. i mean, if i have the passion but im not that good, what's the point? it's like someone who loves singing but can't sing. 

So here's my list of pros and cons:

Pros

• Doing something that i absolutely love and enjoy
• Being able to have a subject where i could relax and not do so much written stuff
• I'm comfortable with it and i found it a subject i know well

Cons:

• Good people that i have to 'compete' with. I don't want to be in the category of the 'others'
• It's really time wasting 
• You have to put lots and lots of effort into our majors
• it wastes quite a lot of money

The cons list totally outweighs the pros. i honestly don't know. i know that if i chose textiles i WILL DEFINITELY enjoy it to my best. but i have to try super hard. i know school is not always about competition and who's greater than who. but textiles is something i find that im good at compared to my other subjects, and it'll be great if i was able to show that to people and have people who understand and appreciate that. 

iunno. 

DAY#5. MY SISTER

Tina. 

I don't really know. I love you a lot but most of the time you piss me off so much. 
I can't say I don't care about you but you always hurt me. 
I help you by telling you not to do things to piss dad off and you start screaming at me or saying 'yeah well you don't do this and this and this.'


well i'm not the one who always gets into fights with dad on such stupid matters.

you're all like: i know best. shut up. this is what i want so im going to get. like your bajillion dresses that i told you not to buy because no one wears those kind of things to a formal? you never listened. and in the end look what happened? you're just going to give up 3 friggin dresses because they're not good for you. nothing's ever good for you right?

when i ask you to help me things like french or truong you're like yeahyeahyeah whatever i'll do it. and so im like, thanks man, and leave it on your desk. but you never touch it until i get panicky since that shit is due. and then you're like 'jeeezzz ann.' and you half-heartedly do it. it annoys me so much.  




and you're so honestly so careless about what other people feel. sometimes i think it's just YOU. you HAVE to be the centre of attention. everything in this house has to surround YOU. You make people do shit for you and when they ask you for something in return you give off the shitest, ignorant attitude that just gets you in trouble. and then you argue that you're right? does that even make sense. 


because of your selfishness you don't care how mum, dad and gran feels do you? you unintentionally but badly hurt them by making them feel useless towards you, saying they don't understand shit that you're going through at school, and that ignorant attitude and rude behaviour that you give out when you're annoyed is just not right. And when i tell you to be careful or else dad is going to explode, you explode at me. 


now i know that im not perfect and i have my things to fix as well, but you never listen to me. at least im trying to help. but im so tired that now im just trying not to get in trouble because everything you do and leave around..i get the blame. and you still don't listen. 

the people around us think that we're all happy dappy and go 'tina is so funny. you guys are so nice.' and when they do that i just laugh awkwardly. because it used to be like that. until we both changed. 


of course we have our times when we talk about guys, and bitches, and school and just everything. or when we laugh about our old memories when we were twins in everything we do. but the things you say and do on a normal basis just ruins it. i hope that, after all i've done and tried to say, you'd understand and change for the better. 


i do care tina. but you have to listen.
 

Day 4#: The Parents

more cheesy. 
----
Mummy:

Hi mummy :) Words can't describe how much i love you. 
You've been there for me through everything and i owe you the world. 
I love how I could just act weird and childish in front of you and you'd still stick with me. I love the times when I could just jump onto your bed and roll around while i talk gibberish to you and annoy you while you're cleaning your room- and i still do all those things. The times when I would go to you whenever something's bugging me or whenever i feel so down and you'd cuddle me even if I'm right or wrong. And the times when we'd laugh at the funniest things together and go bust out on our viet karaoke; i always feel the most comfortable with you. 
 
I'm sorry that sometimes i piss you off and make you feel upset. The times when i become so selfish that i put my wants before your needs and make you do things for me. And only when you end up doing to please me and make ME not angry, would i realise how stupid i was. and im so sorry. And when you're tired because of such a stressing day and i get short tempered and yell at you as well; im so absolutely sorry. 

But i love you so much mummy. you're like my absolute backbone. 

Daddy:

Hi Dad. 
I know that sometimes you feel left out because the only times you see me is in the morning and on the weekends because you have to go to work, but I love you so much as well and I can't tell you enough how important you are to me. 

I know you love me so much; how you'd wake up early although you go home so late, just to see if im doing okay and make me breakfast when im rushing out of the house. And i can see how you're trying to please me when, if i want something, you'd get out of your way just to get it. 

But, to be honest, I don't need that much dad. I mean, I know that it's hard now. We're not close than we were before because im growing up and our of that little kiddy shell but, just with you around makes me so happy. And i know that sometimes you really piss me off with your righteous state and then i become ignorant of you, but the moments we share everyday- like your phone calls from work and helping you out on the computer- means so much to ME as well.I don't want you to think that you're now meaningless to me because im growing up now, so don't get discourage because every moment we spend together is precious and your words and knowledge always helps me.

And I know you care about me so much. I mean, you tell me not to think about it this way but, nearly everything I do at school, every test i do, is all for the sake of proudly showing it to you. I know it's only beneficial to me, but all i want to do is bring it home and be like: dad look at me. this is what i've done. this is all the work i've put into it. 
And im going to make you proud dad. trust me. 

GRANDMA:


Grandma. You are like another parent to me. 


I know I've treated you so bad. I'm sosososososo sorry. I hope you could see that, over the past year i've been trying to mend everything. 
Because i was an idiot. You love me so much; cook the food i want, do EEEVVVVERRRYYTHING for me, and go great lengths for me. But i'm such a fool for treating you so bad even though i'm given this unconditional love. 
Sometimes I get pissed at how you keep bugging me while im trying to do work, and repetedly asking me questions, but i know my attitude is not right.
And, though i tell myself to change this habit, i only realise this when a close friend of mine talked about his grandma and how he regretted treating her like rubbish. And i don't want that to happen to us. So i hope that all the effort ive done to get close to you and return back this love have shown you how much i care. because underneath my selfish, short tempered state i do care for you and i do love you so much. i don't think my childhood would be that happen, and i don't think my laugh would be this much set out for me if i didn't have you. You treat me like your own child and you love me so much, everything step of my life felt like a breeze; i can't thank you enough.

So be there for me okay? Don't go. I still haven't finished repaying everything you've done for me yet.

Ancora imparo

Still Learning.

your expectations are too big. 
what would happen if the person you're thinking of not think the same as you?
by then they'd know you too well to turn you down. to see how important this is to you that they'd be morally forced to stay.  

maybe it's good that you're thinking ahead. but to the other person, why might not feel the way that you do, it may just be a regretful way to not make you feel hurt. whatever that you're holding to would be holding her back. 

DAY#3. MY CRUSH (NOW)

arghhh more cheesssiieeeeeenesss. aahahahas. 

okay so here goes.

----

hi you :) 
omgahs we've been through so much together but im still so shy to tell you this. it was so weird meeting you, it was definitely one of the most randommest meet. and even though i must say i regret going on there and all for all that time, i never regretted meeting you.
you're super nice, super cute, and super caring. 
honestly i think we got closer when i helped you with your gf problems and then helping you get back on track. ahahahs pat on the back for me for that quick recovery :P
when i can't be there you're super sympathetic, and when i rant about some bitch at school i can't figure out you're on my side and wishing she'd put her head in a hole as well. 


weirdly we got closer and closer. and weirdly we turn out like this. 
the time we got to talk to each other got shorter but i think we both got more mature and talked about more important things. ahahahas who am i kidding, i think we're both so kiddy :P

and that's why i like you. you're not the type of guy who thinks he's topshit and acts cool. and whatever you're feeling, i know i could trust you to tell me the truth instead of trying to make me feel good. 
 
i know we're talking to each other less do going our own ways but i like how, at the end of the day, you'd still have my back and i can trust you for that. thanks for being there when im feeling moody, for encouraging me to hula hoop. for telling me to get off coffee when you couldnt do it yourself. for promising to wear your flash pants and show them to me ahahahahahs omg. and to understand whatever i go through and to stick with me when most people wouldn't care.

yeah, you're my crush you adorable short thing :L STOP BEING AWKS ABOUT IT AND GUITARENADE ME SOMEDAY GOSH :L

DAY#2. MY CRUSH (PAST)

AHAHAHAS im actually continuing with this. anyway, skip this if you can't handle cheesy-teenage lurve ahahahas. 

 --

So yeah. Every one of my friend knows you. ahahahas. 
I started liking you in what, year 7? i saw you at the bus stop - this is exactly how i told my friends- and you were standing there with your crew. and you had the nicest smile ever. and i thought you were a pretty nice person. 
and i don't know how stupid I was back then, but that's how I started to like you. 

I remember how my friends used to make fun of me and this stupid liking because I barely know you - believe it or not we had mutual friends ahahs- and because you're not the best of the best. you're not tall, you're not the good looking. 
bit idk, at that time i thought you were. 

then i became really crazy. every single time you smiled at me i'd be like arggghhhhhh. and act all crazy. and if you just glanced at me i'd think you noticed me. 
but like, the more i got to know you, the weirder it got. mostly when my sis had a friend who knew you and told me what a bitch you were. 
at first i was like noooo, you don't know him, everyone has a shitty past. but then i figured ouot how egotistic you were. you bullied people, ditched people, and thought that you were so cool. and then i figured out how stupid i was.

time goes and I moved on. I see you sometimes; at the busstop, when you go early to school and I happen to be on the train, even today when I went home early from school. You're still the same. 

if i was to say one thing to you straight out, it'd be that I think you have one of the greatest smile. Even someone like me gets fooled by your real personality by just that. so keep smiling. and thanks for be someone i've had the longest crush far so far :)

---

ahahaas im sorry for the cheesiness. BUT THERE YOU GO :) I.AM.OUT :)

END OF EXAMS YEES

Okay no. THERE'S A FRIGGIN HISTORY EXAM TOMORROW LIKE WHAT I JUST REALISED TODAY AND A SPEAKING ON WEDNESDAY. HATE FRENCH IM GOING TO DIE AND GEORGIA IS GOING TO SIT CHAIRS DOWN FROM ME AND SPEAKING ALL PROFESSIONALLY AND I'LL GO TO MS WITH NOTHING IN MY HEAD. 
yeah that's what happened to me the last two speakings. 
and there's like, 2 more to go this year omgash. 

But yeah, the exams are formally over yay :) textiles went okay if you didn't count my crappy overlocking for my crotch pair of the shorts. i turned a bit too sharp and there's a weird cut part where the overlocking seam doesnt even connect to the fabric ahahas. but i really don't give a crap for now. 

so apparently tomorrow there's a history exam that i have no idea about and I hope that I could just go in a fluke it like i usually do for all hsie/geo unformal exams. 

and french. ahahahahs french. :( we needed to do a doctor/patient scenario with the teacher and I don't think my 3 weeks of repeatedly listening to french music would help me when my vocab is the shittest thing ever. 

and then there's tutoring. omgahs. so our class may be one of the toppies but we suck shit because THERE'S JUST TOO MANY PEOPLE. you dont even need a heater on a cold day because all the human heat would be just too much. Don't get what im learning right now. AP/GP shit is okay but when you have all these word problems like WTF I DON'T CARE IF A MAN CONTRIBUTE $500 ANNUALLY ON EACH OF HIS 44 BIRTHDAYS AND THE ACCUMULATED VALUE AND BLAHBLAHBLAH. LET HIM BE. 

and yet i skipped out on another important class. im so dead hahaahhas. WHY IS CONSUMER SO IMPORTANT IM GOING TO GROW UP AND HIRE AN ACCOUNTANT AND A TAX PERSON ANYWAY. 

and then there's textiles. trying not to rush everything last minute last time because this might be the last major im doing in textiles if i don't continue- not counting stuff toys because...that's so stupid and no one cares. 

those its been less stressful but yeah, still too much shit. 

AND I WON $100 MODE COLLECTIVE VOUCHERRRR. YEEEEES. so i read the email and i got supersuper excited and im was screaming YAAAY SHOES. and then checked the website and the only thing buyable were canvas laceups and retro looking pair of white wedges that are in size 35 :( AND THOSE PRETTY ANKLE SUEDE BOOTS ARE $300 :( what am i going to do with my voucher idek. 

and i was 'ppose to have french breakfast tomorrow but it got delayed :(

okay im outtie. i need to relisten to french and go frenchfluent :( 
I.AM.OUT :(