its stupid. I don't know why im doing this. I tell myself countless times that i should end it but i end up continueing this. I tell myself its not useful and its getting in the way of everything i do and i should pick up the courage to stop but everytime i end up not being able to stop.
Sometimes i wish my thoughts were mutual- for i'd rather it stop before i confront it- But everytime it starts i know that my feelings aren't mutual. And then im afraid to see the other become hurt if i confront the problem. And then i tell myself to leave it for a better day, and when that day comes i keep postponing it until it becomes a commitment that i dread.
Its not that i hate it. Sometimes im happy but other times i just feel like there are other things i should be doing. I've let myself go loose too many times this year and i tell myself that i have to try harder because of all the expectations put on me. And i know this problem is the first thing i need to get rid of to get everyhing back on track.
But i just can't do it. And for once i can't ask someone to help me/end it for me. This sucks.
0 comments:
Post a Comment