platonic

it is weird to not want to date someone yet still crave their attention? 

the feels when someone can make you think for hours on end. you want him to be attracted and continue talking to you but at the same time set perimeters that you just want to be solely friends. 

You asked why i said no even when you ticked all the boxes

My reason for age gap was half true though- i just felt i wasn't ready to be with someone like you.

You're charming, funny and easy to talk to; someone that id always thought id want. But that shit was so good to be true that i kept thinking if you had any other intentions. You're more experienced than me in most aspects and so i kept thinking all these other things.

I think my thoughts got confirmed so soon after, so im glad things became that way. But thanks for making me feel so much cuter than i thought i was hahas.

Recaping 2014

Something i wanted to do for myself

2014 has taught me many things and has built me up to a greater image of myself

2014 was the yearin which i figured out who are the ones i should fight for and continue relationships with. Hsc has madee closer to my sister and my friends somuch that we leaned on each other and became one. 

2014 has given me a sense of communal love; love between the 169 girls that ive been with during the six integral yeara of my life. Hsc has taught us to depend and help each other and we all finished high school so much stronger and more tight knitted. 

2014 has taught me that its okay to reminisce, but don't linger on. Withdrawals towards him was something constantly haunting me during the beginning of this year, and the feeling that i never found someone better during the first few months made me linger. However, the blessing of this passing december in the form of two great friends  have made me realise what a fool i have been to think i could not meet a guy as great. 

2014 have taught me to love myself more and dont underestimate my strenghts. The rewarding results of my year of hard work has showed me that yes i can do it if i keep trying. Ive always thought less of myself but passing this feat made me so much atronger. And the bleasings of december 2014 was one of the freatest things that have ever happened. 

December 2014 was the month where i became more confident in who i am and more excited to grow to who i wanted to be. From an insecure girl, working at two different iobs and meeting a handful of people helped me realise that, no i am not sociallyawkward and yes i can make friends out of my comfort zone. Is it the two guys who became attracted to me.. Or is it the coworkers who praise my har efforts and tell me they enjoy working with me..or the bunch of friends who transcend past the period of working togehter... I dont know. But all of these happenings make me so much more excited about who i can become in 2015 and the journeys i will take.

So in 2015, i hope i can finaly achieve my one goal: become fit 

I hope that i can start afresh and learn new things and become a stronger better person.

For anyone who reads this and my loya readers: thanks for being there theough my thick and thins and hope 2015 will bring you such sweet happiness and joy.