DAY#13. SOMEONE YOU WISH COULD FORGIVE YOU

Hi.

What started off as a really close bond that kind of fell apart for us. You're a really nice person; caring and sweet, and i am really sorry for the countless times i lied to you. 

ahahahas yeah, remember those times when we had those longwinding talks about your life and about how my future life would be? and how i kept nagging you to go to sleep and actually try out for all these jobs? 

and then yeah, that thing happened. I honestly didn't mean it. I never wanted to get skype and never thought of it but it was an impulse thing and you happened to not be on at that time for me to tell you. and then you got very hurt and it took me a while for you to get back on track again.

and then i lied to you. the promise that i gave you, i never did and i know that hurted you a lot. i know you couldn't forgive me and, all because of me, your overview on who your real friends are have changed dramatically. 

tbh i did try to mend us back together. all that time that i tried to apologise, tried to reason out with you. you know how many times i tried. and i know that's not enough in comparison to what i did to you but you never gave me a fair chance. 

you were the one who, when i tried to apologise on the first go, ignored me and deleted my comments and never listened. and then you'd bring what i said up? all the times i posted something on your page or talked to you to try and closen up that gap, you'd delete. even before all that crap happened; every single time i tell you to do something as a healthy advice, you'd never listen to me. so what am i to you anyway?

when you finally forgave me, every single time we talked you'd bring the whole event up again. saying that i hurt you, saying that you're still very hurt. i thought you said you wanted to forget everything. 

and thats when i got annoyed. you're too nice but sometimes you don't think for anyone else but yourself and who you feel. i tried so hard yet you never recognised that and you keep whining that you're depressed and that you're sick of being happy and whenever i tried to help you out nicely you'd ignore whatever i said. you never were like that. 

i think, by now, you're still hurt. whatever i did had made an everlasting impression on you and i know you can't trust me again. but yeah, i do wish you could forgive me, but we can't go back to what we were back then.