i know it's sucha sucky part of me and I often try to avoid it but sometimes it just doesnt work that way-you can't just FACE it. Like i wish the other person would think the same as me and do the honors of expressing the problem instead of me doing myself.
and then I make excuses, and then shit happens and I feel guilty and that just keeps me prolonging myself from actually dealing with the problem. And then i feel like I'm stuck with this huge responsibility that isn't mine to begin with in the first place.
i don't know. right now it feels as if things are working my way, and if this keeps happening, then surely whatever I wish for would happen. And i know I would be upset about it for sometime but, i don't know, a part of me feels that I would be relieved that the whole thing is over. It's like taking this huge boulder of my back and I could be more carefree.
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