do you..

ever have something that you want to protect so bad even if it's not yours? 
someone maybe? 
and then you'd get jealous or just pissed if when someone gets close to that something or that someone and swoons about it and be like yayayayaay and you're like ohmyfcking god shut up bitch.

like for example- and this is not what really happened- but like you just started your addiction to something or joined something new..like maybe a youth group or something. and you're the first person in your group to do so and you love it so much and just everything there. and like, when people ask you 'oh hey why are you so happy?' you're like ohh this coolest thing happened to me blahblahblah.." and then they're like the next day 'hahah ann i joined it as well'. 


LIKE IT'S NOT YOURS. the youth group doesnt belong to you but you just want it to be yours only. some little secret that you can indulge in that has nothing to do with anyone else close to you.


yeah it's somewhat like that. iunno, i suck at explaining haha.

and then you'd think that that bitch of a person is rubbing it in your face on purpose because they know how much this thing/person means to you but seriously they're just happy. or sometimes they might just be rubbing it in your face cause everyone's a bitch nowadays and has their purpose. OSDDIJOFSDHFSDKJFLSKJDFKLSDFKSJDFLK. i really can't contain my anger. 

worst of all the bitch in this picture is someone close to me. i really have never thought bad about her because we're so close and she's someone that i feel so comfortable with and we have little things between us and so much fun between us. But everytime she talks and rambles on about how much fun she has with this thiiinnng im like OKAY I HEARD THIS LIKE A BAJILLION TIMES AND IM TRYING TO ACT LIKE I DON'T CARE SO STFU. 

ughhs...these things always brings out the worst in me, i've realised. mum's usually like; 'don't care about these crap just get on with stuff' AND OH HOW I TRY BUT I CAN'T IGNORE IT.


:( i need a punching bag.