Midnight confessions

Ive learnt something big today:

That i shouldnt always strive for confirmation in what i do.

It should be essentially what i am comfortable with and what i know. 

On another note: 

To that someone, i am grateful for your immense effort and i hope you can see my efforts in trying. 

Danke danke.

pet peeves

one word responses in text msges:

exhibit A:

me: hey should I do this? belonging is an individual desire formed by the sldfsjflsdjflksjflsjof............
culprit: yep
me: sorry can we change the time to this?
culprit: yep
me: hey the thing you sent me did not have the thesis statement would you possibly be able to send me the editted copy? Also can you read my drafts thanks.
culprit: yep.


exhibit B:
me; should i get her this cause i was thinking she would want this but maybe it might be too hard for her to carry and she might not want to walk around with it at school. this would be easier....?
culprit: ok
me: uhm yeah so i'll buy it tomorrow yeah?
culprit: ok

ARGH WHY DO YOU GUYS HAVE TO BE SO PREDICTABLE IMAGINE IF YOU DID THIS IN REAL LIFE HOW SAD AND BORING WOULD YOU BE. 
yeah i know this is text messaging and yeah it's s'ppose to be short and succint but look at my efforts I honestly don't even text properly cause my keys are small as and my fingers are stubby so I spell things wrong all the time and its a pain in the ass yet I still try to friggin type and pretend to be vaguely interested can't you do the same argh. 

the day you guys type more than a line of text i would hallelujah all over the place. 

ok so

exam update:

• 4u was okay 
• it was better than i hyped it to be
• hope i did well with curve sketching cause it was my confident topic so i skimmed through it..too quickly...
• i did the last curve sketching question :")

• Modern was okay
• i wasn't as happy with my response for the source base question so eeeeeeeehhh
• trying to tell myself that it doesnt count to much
• but i want to keep my rank
• and i worried alot and usually when i worry for something i don't do as well so touch wood HAHAHHAS

• 3u was gooood
• had 20mins to spare, went through everything thrice, fixed up mistakes
• feeling good but iunno this was me with 2u maths last time and i flopped 

• after exams went with chen and rachel to cabra
• sugar cane uice for $2 yuuum
• something in my head ignored the fact that everytime i got to j's kitchen i always never finish my dish 
• did the same. left a whole rack of pork chops and chips and salad felt so bad but my stomach was expanding
• biggest food baby out
• went fabric shopping, this guy gave me a whole lecture on how silk crepe is expensive as if i didn't know what i was getting myself into. 
• wanna use cotton spandex again for my dress but ms says to use jacket material. i don't think  worsted wool would be appropriate....
• had green tea and taro froyo for the first time in like 2 months.
• went to chens house to chill
• act dried mango and malteasers
• fell asleep while watching The Office ahahahas 
• had a loooong nap, woke up at 7 and tried to do work but ended up wasting time and watching The Millers which sucked 

• english is on friday
• dying 
• dying
• dying
• i suck at english, trying hard to not disappoint aaron but i just suck
• don't want aaron to do majority of the work as well because its my work. like even when he fixes things so minute i go home and change it cause i don't feel comfortable thinking of his work as mine 
• but like. what to do. theres too many things i want to talk about and but my word count is only 800. 

on a side note. i think i'm falling in love. 

with ta-ku. 

fuck everything he does why is he so magical. 

his music is so good he's so cute

fuck lemme come to perth and marry you

i can do interior design while you do your music thing and our babies can have your eyelashes. 

on another side note.

went to a sushi shop today at central with serena and xin and when we came in there was this guy that worked there was the nicest eyes and smile and he's just leaning against the display smiling at us and the customer before us and he's not even talking about the smiles. 

and my eye started twitching so very badly and im like fuarked so flustered look at the sushi instead of the man.

and his arm tattoo is so beautiful and he took my moneyz hehehe. and when we walked out he was laughing and saying THANK YOOOOU. 

then after we walked out 5 metres away both xin and serena started swooning and omg yeah can't go back there by myself forever because i'd probs get nervous and just embarass myself HAHAHAHS. 

plus he was with another chick selling and judging by their body language they're probs a couple. so cute so jealous. 

GAH

• scared for the last question of circular motion i dont know what to expect
• i have a newfound respect for aaron i honestly think he's a god 
• he gave me his modern notes im gonna cry cause they're so beautiful 
• and all other notes
• and trial papers
• and i know he wants to get rid of them cause its like his shit from years ago but still
• <3 danke="" font="" nbsp="">
• AND now feeling desperate cause i'll be so vulnerable after he's gone and i will get stupid and un-enlightened again
• my standards for english tutorers have risen up so much that its unattainable i need someone who is both good like aaron and cheap like aaron and thats so rare to find. 
• but on the other note wtf is social inclusion
• SOCIAL INCLUSION
• SOCIAL INCLUSION
• I GOOGLED THIS AND I GOT TO AN ELDERS PAGE CAUSE THIS IS A FUCKING PAIN IN THE ASS 

• first time im really scared for modern history
• usually, and like last year, i enjoyed it and didn't give much care because i thought i would drop it
• now that its one of main my subjects im ZZZZZ all over the place 
• still feel like my notes are inadequate 
• why
• why 

• on another note
• hermit crab life suits me but all i'm doing is sitting and eatting and working and i so wanna exercise but fuark dont have time and effort and ZZZZZ

• on another note
• a bunch of aarons students are gathering money to get present for him cause he's leaving
• and at first im like mhmm yeah cool
• then the guy was like 50$ pp
• then he was like lez get watch for 200$ 
• then he wouldnt set for a cheaper watch to get something else with the moneyz (two high quality things > one good quality thing)
• then he linked a shitty brand
• and then i realised that we would still have aaron next year for term 3
• soooo....
• don't know what to tell this ringleader guy cause he's on a roll and everything i say he kinda puts it down but 
• ya honestly gonna get him a present and get him a farewell lunch party does that mean we do the same next year
• its not needed y'all

okay its 9pm study time im outttt. 

hsc assessments

• next week
• pumped and ready
• no not really
• fight me circular motion
• j's kitchen after 3u 
• still chilling, i should be studying HAHAHAS

j dilla

tumblr asks

1. future uni course

im really not sure anymore. i initially want to do optom so bad and i dont even know why, i think I really wanted to help people out in a medical way and maybe - a bit farfetched- but be able to actually go to third world countries and help people and their eyesight.
But i just cant do chemistry for shit. and phys. sooooo.

tina thinks i should do entrepreneur or something in the creative sector cause i'm better at that and I agree but like...mhmm...

so for now I really haven't thought about it. people already have and try to get their atar mark. i'm just trying to get an OKAY atar mark and worry about the rest later. 

2. why rook?

because its different and cool and i want it...?

3.your best feature? 
I really am confident of my laugh AHAHAHAHAS. 
i dont know, my friend thinks i laugh like a choking hyena (that lil bitch HAHAHAS) but i feel like when I laugh people i talk to tend to receive it better...? like it gets less awks and idk i get a lot of comments on my laughter so yeah. 
Yeah, i'm probs really pro because i literally laugh at everything. 

4. something i hate
people who have lots of money from birth and goes around treating everyone, and even their parents, like shit cause they think they're top shit. and they think they can get away with not caring about their education whatnot.
gurl you wait until i get up that motherfucking class pyramid and squish you down and you won't even have the genuine friends or the brains to move back up. 
soz this is one of my pet peeves. 

5. an unpopular opinion that i have
molly and sherlock (bbc) should be together. 

Hsclyf

Workworkworkwork :(

Already feeling like this year will be so tiring that it'll be gone in a jiffy and i will lose ranks and be bottom again. 

Gotta keep my reign but going so slow at a slow rate, get so tired and hungry at school and just so busy. 

If i can do 4u maths though i will drop 3u english, less to focus more on. 

U little piece of shit

Of course i still remember you and miss you like crazy. 

late novembermix

went for a haircut nekkminit my hairdresser went on a hacking spree and now im back to the year 2 hair length. 
yaaaay for trying to be more mature looking HAHAHAHAS. 
buuut i changed my shampoo for hair growth so hope this works.

terry lee was okay i think i did okay for my tests but cant even take a break cause 
* english speech
* textiles 
* study

is it weird to say im actually excited to get myself busy with work? HAHAHAHAS. 
prelim exams come at me. 

extremes

extreme hot weather
extreme tiring schedule 
extreme report marks

like seriously, i either get real good or real bad and there's no in betweens. but im really happy with the marks. moved up ranks for most things even chem LOLOLOL from 104/114 to 92/110 HAHAHAHAS. 

moved down english advance from 3/169 to 18/169 i blame aaron. 

1st for textiles 2nd for modern hist. realrealrealreal happy but must not be lazy and keep going up and staying up. 

needa improve maths. i've moved up from middle of grade to top 50~60 but i still don't feel good i used to be better. 


3u polynomials 3u circle geo test tomorrow and 4u polynomials test as well.
then my english essay is due with aaron and im just screwed but i want a draft up so WORKWROKWOKWORKOWKORW :( 

gotta study and needa get circular motion down, hope that i understand that shit pleaseplapslplapse. 
  

our grade's drama class had this reaaaaal good performance and now their song is stuck in my head

tumblr anons asks

when are you getting your rook? 

soon. hopefully.
waiting for the right time ie. not busy, have money, have moral support to come with me, research a place that would have bioplast and doesn't do a dodgy job. 


three favourite brands
unif. stylenanda. o-mighty 

obviously the three untouchable ones but i'll get there. 

what subjects do you do now and which one/s do you like most?

4u maths- hard but weirdly enjoying because i like the feeling of learning something new which helps everything make more sense
3u maths- ehh

2u english- fun cause i understand 
3u english- cute cause of hartley. and interesting as well. 

modern history- its a lot of hard work but i find it enjoyable 
textiles - fun but theory sucks shit. like honestly.

i think all the subjects i chose for year 12 are all that i find enjoyable to some extent. like i feel like theres none that im doing cuase im obliged to. like even though people thinking that year 4u maths is the obviously asian way its interesting (cause maybe terry lee makes it more interesting that it really is hahahas)
but defs textiles. honestly i come to school on textile days just for textiles all the time. even though its theory its a pretty chill class and when its prac we just go all out and its so fun. other subjects sometimes i'd fall asleep in/feel disinterested and tired in but not textiles. 

talk to me: http://ayeeitsann.tumblr.com/ask

soz for no november playlist. i've been so busy that i've actually been looping the same songs and like adding everthing onto the october one without making a november one will probs put on tomorrow. 

spontaneous crafty side of me emerged again and i just wanna do some shirt printing tomorrow.
other stuff that i wanna do tomorrow
 - hang out at costco with sam
 - get my baby gyozas at costco
 - get a hair cut. want it short. again.  
 - get some plain crewnecks
 - get some fabric paint cause our house is too much of a wreck right now to find my old ones 
 - same with stippling brushes 
 - start on my creative 
 - go tutoring for english cause i wanna show aaron my essay :DDDDD 
 - study for terry lee 

i probably will get less than half of these done tomorrow hahahas but it doesnt hurt to have wishful thinking. 

spent the whole day at le terry lees and tired as fuck it sucks and sundays class is much more fun but ceebs moving.
went home and chilled until now only starting to do work but going to get off in 1 hour to workout cause flabflabflab. 
my group and i had a talk this week and they're like omfg you dont even need to exercise that much you're toned already. no. 
no.
it's like the only active thing i'm doing compared to like 1/2 years ago when i was still swimming and playing bball.