D&m

Spent the whole afternoon & night paralyzed on the couch cause my legs felt like blocks of wood. Pretty much did nothing but ended up having a long talk with mum.

I guess i kinda got to a breaking point at how disappointed i am with my marks and how i know theyre disappointed about me cause i've got such an easy life compared to them but i couldn't even make it close to perfect.

Idk. I know my point in achieving good marks should be for myself but i always have them in the back of my mind and thats why i worry so much and pressure myself to be outstanding, then mentally punish myself when i don't meet the standards....





But when i told her this she told me not to worry. She said that she's proud of me and she doesn't care that i can't be as good as Tina and as smart as her becase she loves me for my uniqueness. She saysshe know how i worry about so many things not working out but i should not care about things to such degree and just have fun. And as cheesy and obvious as these things sounds i just bursted into tears and felt so grateful at how genuine my parents are.

To think they do so much but want so little from me - to achieve things that i'll be content with and not please anyone else even them- seems to me so unbelievable. They've worked so hard so i can have all this comfort and luxury around me but don't need something else in return. This genuiness can never be mirrored through friendship, can never even be compared to anything else.

At these times i feel so blessed and lucky that i've been given these people who love me so unconditionally.


Ahhhh..my point i want to make is- as obvious and repetitve this may sound to you guys, ignore if you want- don't EVER take your parents for granted! There are so many people i know who are sure that they will leave home right sfter high school and stop their relationship with their parents cause of hatred. And it annoys me so much how temporarily ignorant they are.

Don't hate them cause then don't let you go out partying or get piercings or for confining you into studies or just being unreasonable. Cause as mean and unfair they may be, these temporary things are so little of their requests to everything you have indirectly requested from them; their care, their love, their effort, their time. They pretty much worked tiredly every fucking day so you get all the things that surrounds you right now! THINK! Of how blessed you are!

Of course sometimes their tiredness would get to them and they might reflect that towards you or be harsh just cause they want you to concentrate better and be better at school. But for what?

It all comes down to the fact that they rake hard all their lives and be those "unjust bitchy parents" just so you can have a better life. And though after you become sucessful and take care of them when they grow old, there is only so much you can do!

I don't know, maybe i luckily do have parents that care for me a bit more than others but at the end of the day, i can sure say that all parents care for their child, even though they might not be the best at expressing it, so don't treat them shit. I KNOW im not a wise owl to be lecturing you guys on these things but to those people, i hope one day you'll be able to mend back your relationship with your parents/bond more...that might just be enough to repay them back.