Honesty Corner: 27: A problem that you have had.

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27: A problem that you have had.

A seriously big problem that i once had and still struggle today would probably be feeling good about myself. 

I've had a hard time trying to be comfortable being who i am both appearance wise and character wise and it used to affect me so much that I would victimise myself just cause of this insecure feeling. 

I wouldn't go out to meets, wouldn't approach and talk to people that I used to know, and wouldn't want to join new things and meet new people cause i felt so insecure about myself. Now i really regret this cause, though i'm 'spreading' out now and it's not too late, there were so many people I wanted to keep in contact with but, because of this problem, it makes it kind of difficult. 

I dont know, something I feel so strongly regretful about is, because of this issue, i victimised myself so much. People would do this that pisses me off or hurt me unintentionally and, without asking for the reason, i'd conclude "Because they don't like me". The feeling that I'm not deserving of where i am and making myself feel inferior to people around me. I think that has pushed me down a lot.

Around other people that i don't feel comfortable in, I'd change who i am and try to fit in because i think my personality doesn't belong and, because of that, i would feel so self-conscious about every word I say and try to impress those people.

 I guess that, recently, I've started to feel better about myself and embrace who i am but tbh I've still got that problem. I guess this happens to everyone has that feeling where they're just not satisfied with themselves. 

Appearance wise, i have felt confident in myself. These past months of being healthy and staying on track with working out and eating right has made me love myself. In a way i don't love my body parts like omg my legs and beaut or omg my arms are balhbalh idk but  just love the feeling of post-training and the feeling that my body feels good because my mind feels good and it just makes me appreciate myself more.

I guess we'll never be satisfied with ourselves though, even though we may say we are. But i've learnt that to make me feel better would just be to hang out with the people that I'm comfortable with as well as to branch out and just try to get along with other people and make new friends. if they don't suit then don't take it personally and just try somewhere else. 

i hope that, through this honesty corner, not only can i make myself feel better but as well as a few of you guys who find this problem really hard to maintain as well. This is a pretty personal issue but if you guys need that help i think i could be there for you. I'm not some professional crap but i could be a helpful shoulder :)