im so bummed.

so today i called Maccas to ask what dates are my shifts cause metime doesnt work for crap. And the girl on the phone was like "oh sorry you don't have shifts this week. call sandra tomorrow and ask her to put you on more shifts."

i don't know. i feel so bummed that my shifts has been reduced from what..2 shifts? to zero. And i asked my friend who joined the place the same time as me and she gets around 3 a week. 
It feels so pissing cause it just makes me wonder whether it was my fault or not...like if i do things to slow or if i'm just not good enough that i don't even get shifts or maybe my manager hates me cause maybe i did shit last time on fries. 

i mean the last shift i had i spent the half the time spending there cause i was put on drinks and it wasn't busy. i really don't know what to do ladkjfsldjflsjdlfsdf. Like I think I do work hard enough, everytime i'm placed on dining i would just keep myself busy and last time on fries I thought I did a good enough job and then i self-doubt myself cause I think I'm not even good enough. 

Maybe i should stop wondering so much but it's inevitable. my friend there was telling me how she hated working there for some time because they didn't need newbies at that point and only now did she start to talk to people and become more into the job and this is like after 6 months. Cept I don't think I'm a patient person. Like whenever I feel like people don't need me at that moment, i don't belong, or I'm just not happy where I am I'd just move someplace else and start anew really quick. Like seriously quick. I don't know if i should just try and be patient and see where it leads me or just do what i do best and jump to something new. 

faaaar out. all cause of my reduced shifts i go crazy over this mess. 

anyways, this week i've got a truong test. In a way I feel like there is a lot of pressure on me but i also feel like i really want to do well. but it stinks how sir gives us a week to prepare cause I am actually very slow. I know if i put my mind to it I can do it, it's just I'm a very slow learner and I need to do things repetitively to get the hang of it so I'm not sure 5 nights of studying is good enough for this exam. and by 5 nights I mean 1 hour per night and the endless checking of facebook messenger hahahas. 

sorry i've been neglecting this. too much workload and work related trouble has caused me to forget about my teen angstyness hahahahas.