Defying Things.

Now, i don't know what to think about it anymore. Should i still hold onto that belief that i've been holding for a while or should i risk it? Everything thats happening of course has made me think differently and to make me think that these things can happen. But for how far can i go? How far will i be able to go before i realise that things ain't working out for me?

And already i have been having loads of troubles. I miss out on a lot of time with fam and friends, miss out on valuable time for work. And i'm moving into year 10, i need to change this unhealthy lifestyle. But how can i stop now? I've been going through these whirlwinds that end up triumphant and i love that feeling, though im risking my school and academic life. Should i stick to my realistic goals and ruin that spark that i enjoy or should i guard that spark on a chance that it might become better? I don't know, but everytime i defy things it never works in my advantage.