"Before the taking of toast and tea"

Dear prufrock, your despicableness has now grown onto me.

Why did i quote you while doing work? I dont even know now. Studying is making me crazy

this be amazing

Round two

Workworknosleep

i like you, alot

(ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

i am done with modernism

hurrah hurrah hurrah :DDD

Late nigh studying refreshment

How many until it becomes unhealthy cause i had 5 shots already

-wake up ann-

Chill day

• woke up at 8 whyyy
• prepped. 
• went out of the house at 9.45 caught a train to the city 
• met up with sarah, kristie, and 2 sgs guys. ones martin, the ones that pre keen on sarah, and he's friend dominic who's quiet as shit hahahas.
• played pool. why. idek when all of us sucked hahas.
• yeah only went through 2 games not even and then we had to go. 
• met up with the others at darling harbour: nish, ange, tan, maddie, steph, linda
• went to harbourside and did the WATERBALL EXPERIENCE which is like you being trapped in a ball with water outside and rolling and shit. 
• waited for ages to get to the front
• played for 20mins so tiring itwas so much excercise hahahs
• SO FUUUUN <3 font="">
• went karaoke after for an hour blasted my voice- crackly nows hahas
• others went to eat dinner but had to go home

i don't want to go out tomorrow. 
it's so weird coming out form my mouth because i i've been stuck in the house the whole holidays and feeling unsatisfied cause i haven't met up with my chickas. 
but im meeting up with sarah and kristie and same guys tomorrow morning that i don't even know. i honestly wouldn't bother but sarahs like come ouuuut blahblah have some fun don't ditch me it's gon be awks and so im like argh fine cause i love you but me and kristie are just gonna release our anger on shitty games and not care about the other people soz. 

then im meeting up with the rest and going on the water ball which i caaaant wait for and then we're gonna go have lunch, which we called dinner hahahahs.

but fck. i have so much work to do. 
i was on the verge of crying when tina told me to redo my modernism essay cause i spent so long on my original but she literally said it was bullshit and this took me back one whole fucking day. 

dyed my hair again today. turned brown but like dark brown and i was like VHATS DA POINT. made dukkboki. gon eat the rest tmr morn heoheo. 

im tired and dreaded and michael came over today and helped me with my retest. hearts for him because i'm like "don't mark it now!" but he's like "i want you to get full marks when my dad checks it" awwws. 

gon try and go home asap to finish FUCKING MODERN HISTORY I WILL FUCKING BASH YOU IN THE FACE WHY DO YOU TAKE FOREVER TO FINISH. 

my tumblr is alive again. for now = the holidays = legit reasoning to have computer breaks= flat butt cause i've been sitting at the laptop all night = FLAT BUTT FML. 

:( sad ann. 

subconscious drift.

Tired

Woke up today thinking of geting a moveon for textiles but im just so sloowww.
Went out to eat with ange and nish before peak.
Peak was shit dont get shit cause of stupid teacher.
Went home tried to do english. Tina read it and says it pretty much sucks.
I feel so down. Im so tired already from allll that english but its still ny enough. Tried to talk to him about it calmed me down a bit but im still so stressed. Sdjeodiwkdjekd gargh. Need a day off thats like timeless why is that impossible.

why can't you love me english why

:( :( :( 

hello 2 unit next year. 

//

yeah.

the feeling where you tried but it just doesnt work out. 

i've been trying to be happy and nice but i guess i've tried to hard to please you.

it took me a while to figure that out but that night i just sat there and thought about it: what the fuck was i doing. 

what the fuck was i thinking I'm just sitting there listening to you talk, being interested when you don't even care how i'm getting along. 

its okay though, i don't hate you for it cause i know you've been through shit as well. you once cared, and i'm forever grateful for that. 

and i'm happy now, i wish you the best and hope you'll soon feel loved as i do now. 

"Don't worry, I will protect you"

Thank you for giving me this great friend that i could trust and depend on.
The journey was short but so sweet and i'll remember all these great memories forever.
From all the arguements, to the insults and the kicks and to the little inside jokes, you've made my time so worthwhile and you've been the nicest big bro anyone could ask for :)
Good luck with all your future endeavours and hope that one day we could meet again :)

study jam

Holidaaaays

Okay Holidays havent been great :/
Saturday:
- hung with angel and nish at stra before work
- talked to brian on the train, wanted to talk more but had to get off and yeah skfjgkf i always ending up disappointing him gargh
- had a massive froyo at yogohouse and drank this grapfruit shit
- went to woolies with angel got some hairdye and peroxide
-went back to her house tried to peroxide her hair
- did it outside and sat on the peroxided grass and got abnormal splotches on legs that re irrating as fuck had to run from park home cause we re so paranoid
- hang out afterwards and ate loads of chips and shit

- went to work with giweon sab and dae
- last day blues, but it was kinda shit
- manager is quitting this week, giweons quitting in three weeks time
- is sab gon quit as well
- fobs are taking over again tbh i miss the whole kevin thing cause t least at that time it was fun but now everything is back to base one

Sunday
-studied all day for the terry lee exam
- failed miserably in the terry lee exam
- guy sitting next to me would not talk to me WHY. Feel like a loner cause the girl next to me ignores me and the nice guy couldnt talk cause stoner guy blocks our view i can only talk to the girls in front of me

Monday
-mum and dad left at 8. Cried like a baby :(
- home jam sess with my main gal sam
- watched pitch oerfect, ate viet takeaway noodles and drank lemon lime bitters and guava
- watched youtube vids, talked, made her cook for me
-walked to the store got more junk shit
- dyed my hair
-sam stayed til 7.30 until her mum came to pick her up
-hair did not dye why
-why u no dye hair why u fcking bitch
-gran and sis came home at 10 got so annoyed

Tuesday
- woke up early to trek to museum to get xin her bag
-LAV AMERICAN APPPAAAREEEEEL
-got some foodies on the way back
-came to the party late at like 11.50
-HAD NEM NUONG WOOOOT
-niceeeeee food omg so nice food
-drank a lot
-playgrounded a lot omg so many derps
- too many people gossiping about that shit party i dont get why people cared
- went to stra for a bit got some noggi and then hung out at yogohouse aft before my train got
- bought. Ticket to warrior dash
- wants ti go to colour run

-fcked up, disappointed in my friends the whole night cause they dnt undestand that its my money and i wanna do whatever i want to do with it, im not bailing out on them cause i i'd do colour run with them anyway and theyr pissed off because my leaving will make THEM uncomfortable.
1. Shit logic cause im not bailing either way and i know im an indecisive fuck but im GONNA DO ONE OF THEM
2. Shit friendship cause i cant do what i want because of your thoughtless self centred reasoning, so you want me to waste money on something i dont prioritise just so it makes you feel happy?
3. Please think of your reasoning first before you gang up on me and tell me to shut up. Didnt listen to my reasoning to even TRY and understand what im saying
But no big deal anymore, will just find someone to sell the ticket to and do colour run yew.

Wednesday
- went to stra library with annie honestly this is like my second home i went here 3 times in the past 5 days.
- did loads of notes then computer craped up now no more notes
- hungry, went to eat korean food
-had so much shiiiieeet hahahas nice food but sooooo fcking full
- went to get some hair care stuff cause gran and kristie said my hair needs treatment
- went to have patbingsu met my gal Sally. Hahahas see her all da time at stra
- went to cabra for peak, meant jasmine on the train and ranted to her
-peak stinks fell asleep halfway
- went home, fbed
- GOT BRUNO MARS FT MIGUEL TICKETS. Bruno. Miguel. In one room. We got pretty far away seats but i honestly dont care so glad that i have the chance to bask in his glory i love him so much ermegaaaaaaaaaaaawd.
- good night, will go to tumblr for some relief and then sleeeep :)

Day 1 morning

Turbo kickkkkk!
Feeling satisfied :)

Last day

Work is shit.
Shit is work.

Fkskcjskfjskdk today went to stra at 12.30 to get froyo with nish and ange wanted to go full 4 store run but ended up buying a massive at yogohouse cause we were lazy
Got some grapefruitnade shit it tasted weird.

ad then bought hair dye and then spur of the moment got my ear pierced, semicartiallge and it didnt hurt. Its funny, i remember hurting so much for my second lobes but now it doesnt even hurt anymore.

Hair dye is blonde but like ange says itll turn brown on my hair so excitteeeed. Will do it with sam on monday cause shes coming to my house yeee :)

Then ange wanted to lighten her hair so we went to get some hdrogen peroxide but we got the solution liquid version at woolies cause it was cheaper than the cream at the chemist.

Went to yogurberry so se could see andrew fcking cho but he got me 60% off from my expected zero so i was like ehhhh okay. But we got like a teeeeeny bit an hes like oh is that all youre gonna eat? Fcking bitch dont judge me and my eating okay.

Went back to angels then tried to lighten her hair and sprayed it with hdrogen peroxide and we had to sit on the lawn and do it so it soaks up the sun but then we like sat around in the geass that had the eroxide in it and we went to the park an it started to irritate our akin and it got blotchy then we got paranoid and ran home and washed the bitch off NEVER PUT PEROXIDE ON UR SKIN EVEN IF ITAS MEANT FOR CUT AND WOUNDS.

Got taren to drive me to work, worked withthe same bunch thought id be at cashier but bitch no sab was sick had to go out. Most boring work day. Most booorrrrring. Got hungry at 7 but kept workig and i kept walkig around an blah and the others just sit insde and talk and i was so annoyed but i was like ann keep it to urself youre gonna quit soon.
Went out for oporto at 10 cause i honestly couldnt starve myself anymore came back blahblah more shitty work. Ten sab was like ohh i need o go home at 12 im getting worst.

Then i asked giweon if she is going home at 12 and hes like yeah and i was like awww as in awww hes going boohoo.

But then hes like YOURE ALWAYS GOING HOME EARLY FOR THREE WEEKS ALREADY SHE GOES HOME LATER THAN YOU BLAHBLAH YOU ONLY WORK ONE DAY BLAHBLAH.

Fck you srsly. I did not say that i wanted to go home early today and wtf i workbfor one day only but i swear i work more than her in a month and i dont complain about doing shitty thins like the front whenever shes tired an blah and i actually work while you guys talk and flirt and shit so dont go me this bullshit.

Ughs got so pissed off i didnt talk to home afterwards, i just stood next to dae and talke to him instead.

:( its so sad now cause im ending shit on such a bad note. Giweon doesnt know im quitting but i wated today to be a little good but i just got so annoyed at him. and i had to stay til 1.50 and was just so fcking tired. And ive also made friends with dae and its sad as well :( gahhh.

But ithere really is no point of staying. Its far, its tiring and i never actually get to leave at 1.30, im dead the next day, and all i do is trod around and work my ass off and get equally paid to people who just sit around and talk.

Tirednow. Gon sleep.

Mhmmm yeeeeeeah.

Shame on you, you desperate fucks :)

Work

So im gonna blog about saturday an work in general :)
Sat was sabs bday went to get her a cake.
Giweon got her perfume. Hah.
Thiught andrew was gonna work with me today but he didnt YAAAAY <3 he was there when i came so i was like..no... But then hes like nah im done and im like yeeeee okay heoheohoe.
Worked with Daehyun but i call him Sae now and he answers to it hahas.
Hes really cute, hes so nice and he comes up to me and talks and he tries and act badass but hes just adorbs hahahs. And he eats a lot as well so were like chicken buddies and we always buy each other food when we work together hhahas.
Giweon FINALLY admits to me that he likes sab. Woot. Yay can you guys just date already and leave me the fck alone i hate how you guys deny it one moment and then get loveydovey the next.
And sab just denies it but obvs if you dont like someone you dont whisper in their ear and flirt like crazy. Ahhs, cc'ed this couple since ice age theyre finally gonna get somewhere.
People talked to me a lot today hahas. Got all these customers who are asking me stuff and havig small talk and this real funny bro and sis came back :)
So like i first encountered this fam when kevin accidently through their not finihed froyo in the bin and i was apologising to them in viet and went to get them more.
And then the next time the sis came with her bro and he was dissig the lazy workers who stood at the back while i was at the front and yeah we bonded.
Then the chick came back with her friends and theyre so hilarious omg uni kids :") and then yeaterday the bro came back and he was asking me about how im copig and how boring it is. But then iw as like hahs its fine i get paid $11 its pretty good and hes like woaaaah fck in my high school days i was so happy i got lile $7.30 no kidding. And yeah theyre just hilairious.
Some fcking stupid korean drunk man was asking me for my nationality and he was like "you korean?" In korean (you learn these things after some months working in a korean filled place) and i was like no and hes like "hong kong? Chinese? Japanese?" And i was like "vietnamese" ad hes like "OHHH. XIE XIE

Ohmygod these stupid..jfkdjdijs.

Andrew. Was gettin on my nerves. Like he finishe his shift an his friends came including the noggi guys and he sat there and kept glancing back at me. Like no kid he judges me so much and i know hes lnot like looking at me in "likeness" like the cute guys in movies because he gives me this squinty judge glare that bitches give other bitches and im like BITCH STOP GTFO.

And so i got so fazed out and so annyed i didnt work properly and kept walking in an out and he probs think i suck at front

And what was more embarassing was that one of his friends i actually admire so much cause hes so cool hahahas. The noggi guy that shaved his head on one side with "noggi" written on it. Well use to hahahas. Yeah hes like one of the popular stra noggi guys and theyre friends. Lile seriously who would be andrews friend DID THEY PASS HIS JUDGING GATE HOWW. But yeah that guy was there and he's so intimadating like i know hes nice but his vibe just sets me off and i just dont want to act bubbly and shit to other customers in front of him or hed think of a loser so i was mentally begging them all to gtfo.

So busy time came and andrew and that noggi guy and some other random came back and sat right where i was standing. Djsjxkisxjjd so annoying like wtf please gtfo i cant work in your judging presence. Ad theyd glance at me and i knew they were talking bout it fcking andrew ckskjskdj.

Then when it got less busy andrew was like ANN ANN ANN and he was like "oh what natsh are you" and i was like "viet" and one f the guys were like "awww yeah i knew it!" And it was so awks to think they were talking about me like dafuq.
Then andrew was like "oh this guy" -points at shaved noggi head- "said you thought he worked at maccas" and hahas i remembered to this time ageees ago when the shaved guy came with his friend swhile i was cashiering and was like "ay look at my swirls are they good?" And i was like "omg yeah. Do you work at maccas?" And hes like "lol no why" and i was like "oh maccas people make good swirls"

Dkskxnsdidjd HE REMEMBERS MEEEE :) wootdawooot hahahahas. The cool noggi guy rmbers me okay hehee <3 but yeah i was like "hahahas ohh yeah cause your froyo was pretty good" an hes like "mah i work at stra noggi" and i was like "hahas okay cool" and walked off.

Then after a while they were about to leave when Andrew was like ANN ANN ANN and he was waving for me to come over and they were crowding around the chairs and hes like LOOK LOOK and it was some measly cricket under the chairs and the guys were like ANN CATCH IT and i was like eww no what and the noggi shave head was like "ANN YOU GOTTA GO CATCH IT" and andrews like "ann youre on your shft its your job!" But i was like eww nooooo can we just leave it. It was like a mutated cockroach/cricket dafuq why would i catch it just leave it id go away. So they were all going out and saying bye and andrew was just looking back at me ad then signalling to the cocckroach and iwas like "hahas bro just leave it alone!" And then hes like "hahas kay bye ann." And a smile.

Okay its just weird now. Like seriously he wouldnt hold a normal conversation with me in our first 8 hours of working together but now we're good over a cockroach? Idk i still hate his face, im still not over shit that happened last week.

Got annoyed at the others cause they werent doing their job! At one point they were all behind the froyo machines and i had to do both the front and the fcking cashier cause they didnt realise they were any customers.

And this is where it annoys me. I seriously dont fcking care about them and their personal lives anymore to the point where they ask me shit and i go hahas idc its your choice. Xins been going like bro dont approach them and others are like dont bother blahblah so i just ignore them and do my job and when they come talk to me ill talk to them.

I just feel annoyed when they DONT DO SHIT theyre ppose to. Thats when i get annoyed. Ive never once complained about being so tired at the front that id go to the back and swap after my one shift a week routine. Though every single week, even in my cashier week, ive ended up at the front. They sit at the back and talk and then complain to me that theyre tired cause their week was tiring and im like bro stfu youve been sitting here the whole day not doing anything dont fcking talk to me like that.

And this is whyive been contemplating lately whether to quit after the holidays. Majority of the reason accouts to my parents pushing me to quit working because its too far and education wise. Cause my sats would be useless an id be so tired every sunday.

But ive always, due to the fiendships i make there, begged them to hold back and just let me work. Yet now im just so annoyed at majority of the people and the close friends ive worke with that i love have quit- like maria, yerae, sally. Easter abd the old gang has died down.

Ive also lately been disappointed with giweon, whos like my absolute biffle, so i dont even know whats worth it anymore. The only reason im staying is for the money and the friends, everything else points to quitting and findig a place nearer.

I dont know wht to do and my biffles tell me to quit but i love this place with all my heart. Like ive been originally there to see it develop from a fob filled, korean froyo store to this beautiful multicultural place where the customers arent all koreans like it used to be. Ive helped out, given ideas, made loads of new friends and connections as well as close customers but now i find the hours go by so slowly and i get so tired.

Ckscjksgjdkf. Idk. I also want to stay for more than 6 months at least but at this rate it doesnt look like its gonna happen.

BACK ON BITCHES

The last 2 weeks have been so hectic but, not counting the work effort snd the early mornings and fcking late nights, it has been so much fun :)

Two Sundays ago was SHEREES party, which was really fun :) got to skip out on calculus in tutoring and came there
2 hours late but it was all bueno. Danced a lot, went super crazy took loads of derps and made friends with loads of people :)

Tuesday of that week was JASON MRAZ. So shit happened in the morning cause i had to study for peak and then Cehn called saying she couldnt go to the concert and she was my fcking ride because one of our car is dead shit and mum cant drive to city. So mum got so annoyed cause she backed out literally LAST MINUTE.
And tina an me were discouraged that the concert wouldnt be good cause the set list would be only his new songs.
Chen called afterwards and said she could make it. Stayed back after school to study an then went with tina to go eat at Grill'd but ended up at maccas and meetfresh cause she wasnt that hungry.
Tina forgot the tickets so we trekked to unsw and i explored the campus it was so fcking huuuge. And i saw yeraes bf there and john the bball coach so awks.

Met chen and went and had more maccas and then webt into the concert place.
Zac Brown Band came on firat snd they were pretty good vocally but im not a country person.
And then Mraz :") MRAAAZZZZZZY <3
So much love for him he sang all the songs that i wanted including Butterfly were i sang with him and i also recorded but my phone started to get shitty and fcking hell died on me so i lost my Butterfly recording.
But mraz is so amazing live :) he sang lucky and im yours and make it mine and 93 thousand miles and after im yours hes like 'thankyou eryone" and went back stage and people started walking off but we stayed back and screamed for encore and he came back and sang THREE he is so funny and witty and chill and the jamming was so intensely relaxing i felt so in loveee :)

Peak test fucking failed. Did my dot points and didnt need to hand it in

Sat was the shittest working day ever. Worked with some guy I DIDNT KNOW and havent PROPERLY TALKED TO and he treated so shit. Dick. Like i didt do anythig to him and it was not like he was a fob fcking australian born he should know some manners on how australians treat each other fcking dickhead jerkhole.

Seriously the more i work at yogurberry the more i stsrt to hate it. All my friends that ive worked with and love have quit and its only me and sab and sam kim as the old newbies gang. Now they have all these korean uni kids who ARE born here but they are so exclusive theyd talk to each other in korean while IM in the conversation and its courtesy you dont do shit like that cause thats just plain rude.
But this guy is worst. He doesnt inniate convi, treats everyone else so nicely and ignores me, and tells me to fck off while im working in my rostered position! I get that the other girl is tired but ive neer onced chane my frot position even if im dead tired and shes had a rest and im sspose to cashier for the night even after i gave up 2 hours of cashier for her and all cause he doesnt give a fck about me doesnt mean he can boss me todo shit. Im so annooyed. I'd rather someone tell me why they dont like me and then sct like this than do it with no reasonable explanation. AND I DONT EVEN KNOW HIM TO BEGIN WITH WHY WIULD YOU HATE SOMEONE YOU DONT KNOW.

Rude jerk, you dont even deserve to attend tafe.

Aannnyways. Easter firsay spent the whole day doing textiles. Creative was due on tuesday and so i spent the whole sunday doing it and it serously took the whole sunday.

Monday woke up early and went to btown was Jayquiqui to buy her a dress for kristies party. Then trekked to chats and hung out with kristie and angel to 2. Got some froyo ad some food and went to the rsl and started decorating the place.

It really looked amazing but i thinkt he turnout was that great, which was why kristie was a bit down but i didnt want her to feel down on her special day so i tried to mingle around to help bring people together.
But in the end people started separsting and sittig down instead of socialising with the groups so i did what i do best: crazy dance hahahahas.

Took loads of photos, won beat couple with xin :)

Wedneaday got peak teat. Failed isrrably no kid like 50 lost in my short answer part fml.

Today went early to city to study oral with annie. Went to msm ate waffles and drank caramel latte whih was tooo strog. Didnt end uo presenting.
No mornig shifts ava in yhe hols so gonna h e to find another job to rake them moneyz in.

Tired and sleepy from taobao shopping so will end with2 week pic diary.enjoy it ya peeps. Oooouuuut.

I miss you

I thought that things like this get better with time
But I still need you, why is that?
You're the only image in my mind
So I still see you... around


///

I don't know if the feelings are mutual, but it feels harder to talk to you now. I used to seek for confirmation but i dont think that is possible anymore.
Although we wished we wouldnt, we're slowly drifting away.
The feeling of becoming total strangers from best friends seemed so surreal but it really is happening.
But i can't tell you these things, can't ask if you if you could care. Cause you're too into this new world of yours where you're not bounded by me and i'm slowly regretting not holding on to you when i had the chance.

june2011